The Myth that Women Initiate Divorces

 Yes, I will call it a myth. Yes, women do start the divorce process, but the question is why.

This here is a stereotypical case. 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/entertainment/entertainment-celebrity/hugh-jackman-s-ex-deborra-lee-furness-files-for-divorce-after-27-years-of-marriage/ar-AA1FATM8?ocid=socialshare&pc=HCTS&cvid=469c9280b45d485eb13f7fecf0c9a01a&ei=42

If you scroll the social media, you will read vile and ugly comments from men about women. The comments are rooted in the apparent belief that women are gold-diggers and women mindlessly file for divorce.

However, if you read this link, you will see that the husband not only left, but he also went public with another partner. This is not uncommon and sometimes they move from the marital home into the "girlfriend's" home and tell the children the girlfriend's children are their new siblings. 

I say that in these cases what women do is clean the mess that men have created by creating a new "family" while legally married to someone else. Since women are the filers or the "cleaner uppers", their name is the first on the divorce papers so statistically they are the ones who start the divorce and are therefore villainized. However, they are not villains just "cleaner uppers" and appropriately dealing with the situation. 

 

More Politics?! Finding peace if you do not agree with current events.

A few days ago, was one year I blogged last. WOW! 

There is much going on in the United States now. There is much fighting/arguing/divisiveness which is never a great thing for any of us. 

I find that there are people somewhat criticizing others for not doing "anything" or "enough" while there are those at protests every weekend. I have come across people with a myriad of emotions and feeling hopeless. 

This entry is for those that wish they could do more and just can't find the time or energy. I want to remind everyone of a few things. 

Trauma reaction: 

Flight/fight/freeze

Some people are feeling traumatized. In a nation of immigrants there may be triggers from personal experience or even inter-generational l trauma. If you are frozen right now, work on healing yourself first. Please do not let others make you feel bad. 

Personality:

Introvert/Extrovert

We all cope differently. Some of us need to cocoon and find our space, others get energy from being among others. Each is OK. Heal thy self. 

At this time in history small steps are meaningful and in fact may be the needed mustard seed. 

Join in social media and sharing

Donating to ACLU and others

Driving a friend to a march

Cooking a meal for a friend or babysitting so a friend can go to a march

all these things are valuable. Take care of your emotional and physical needs. Understand that you are OK. 

Please cocoon if you must. Rest up. 

Hope this short note helps you.