Early on Thanksgiving month 2025

 Today is November 6th, I am writing this at 4:04 am. Yes, I slept but the time change has messed with my dog's mind, and she needed to be fed at 3am or she felt she was going to die. No, she did not tell me that, but her urgency indicated that. This is not about the dog though.

So, being up I went about my business. I got the mail. There was the Trader Joe's flyer that I seem to get every holiday season. Unfortunately, it triggered a myriad of thoughts and feelings. 

November 1st many SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) recipients did not receive their benefits, so they don't have money to buy food. That being said, there are some local efforts including good Samaritans and food banks. There is basically a mess with judges' opinions and politicians doing whatever it is they do but it all appears to be a royal mess and there aren't pretty or fancy words for it. 

As I looked at the Trader Joe's flyer I saw the expansive list of items for sale, the recipes and the stories about how Thanksgiving may look. Turkey Trots then a great meal etc, etc. 

So, what will Thanksgiving look for those SNAP benefit recipients that may not have money or resources to provide a holiday meal? What if they receive the same flyer. That pains me. 

Social media has become a cesspool. Yep, I said it. Go there and watch videos of people criticizing and saying negative things about SNAP recipients. We can do better as a society. A society where I have heard "empathy" be considered wrong and a weakness. Needless to say, I have never seen such vile thinking and speaking in my various trips around the sun. I am not a Spring chicken. 

I am not sure what we can do, but perhaps those who are able, can donate to a food bank, ask friends and neighbors over to Thanksgiving and maybe ask them if they need anything and help them out. Call churches, temples and see if they have anything planned. If you belong to a civic or community organization, get together and donate, create and do. 

Empathy is not a dirty word. SNAP assistance is there for a reason. Do not judge. 

Share some caring and dare I say love around, it seems to go full circle and does enrich your life. Ugliness, selfishness and nastiness is poison. Botox and surgery does not fix that.

Let's hope that the SNAP situation is resolved. Food insecurity should not be happening. 

"girlfriend" watches video of "boyfriend" getting married to his "girlfriend?"

 

ocid=entnewsntp&pc=HCTS&cvid=d34fd9799aee4940b5108d45476c4451&ei=13https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/celebrity/what-is-the-franck-arnaud-tiktok-wedding-drama-expose-goes-viral-with-text-receipts-and-more/ar-AA1Jz7LQ?

What is the Franck Arnaud TikTok wedding drama? Expose goes viral with text receipts and more

https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/celebrity/what-is-the-franck-arnaud-tiktok-wedding-drama-expose-goes-viral-with-text-receipts-and-more/ar-AA1Jz7LQ?ocid=entnewsntp&pc=HCTS&cvid=d34fd9799aee4940b5108d45476c4451&ei=13

Yes, my brain hurts and it's going around in circles. How can this happen? 

Social media is exposing some truly wild things. I guess it is true that reality is weirder than fiction. 

Where is the community? No one saw anything. No one "talked" to anyone? Do we now live in an era where people condone and enable cheating and just plain bad behavior. 

Grant it. There must be trauma here and some issues with attachment but come on! At best could the "community does not help this man get psychological help and work on his attachment and trust issues?

Yes, hurt people hurt people but apparently this went on for years. 

We must do better as a society and community. We need to assess how we perhaps at an individual as well as community level need to stop enabling and perhaps even encouraging this type of lying. It's not cute, it's not sexy and it's not cool

Thoughts?  

The Myth that Women Initiate Divorces

 Yes, I will call it a myth. Yes, women do start the divorce process, but the question is why.

This here is a stereotypical case. 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/entertainment/entertainment-celebrity/hugh-jackman-s-ex-deborra-lee-furness-files-for-divorce-after-27-years-of-marriage/ar-AA1FATM8?ocid=socialshare&pc=HCTS&cvid=469c9280b45d485eb13f7fecf0c9a01a&ei=42

If you scroll the social media, you will read vile and ugly comments from men about women. The comments are rooted in the apparent belief that women are gold-diggers and women mindlessly file for divorce.

However, if you read this link, you will see that the husband not only left, but he also went public with another partner. This is not uncommon and sometimes they move from the marital home into the "girlfriend's" home and tell the children the girlfriend's children are their new siblings. 

I say that in these cases what women do is clean the mess that men have created by creating a new "family" while legally married to someone else. Since women are the filers or the "cleaner uppers", their name is the first on the divorce papers so statistically they are the ones who start the divorce and are therefore villainized. However, they are not villains just "cleaner uppers" and appropriately dealing with the situation. 

 

More Politics?! Finding peace if you do not agree with current events.

A few days ago, was one year I blogged last. WOW! 

There is much going on in the United States now. There is much fighting/arguing/divisiveness which is never a great thing for any of us. 

I find that there are people somewhat criticizing others for not doing "anything" or "enough" while there are those at protests every weekend. I have come across people with a myriad of emotions and feeling hopeless. 

This entry is for those that wish they could do more and just can't find the time or energy. I want to remind everyone of a few things. 

Trauma reaction: 

Flight/fight/freeze

Some people are feeling traumatized. In a nation of immigrants there may be triggers from personal experience or even inter-generational l trauma. If you are frozen right now, work on healing yourself first. Please do not let others make you feel bad. 

Personality:

Introvert/Extrovert

We all cope differently. Some of us need to cocoon and find our space, others get energy from being among others. Each is OK. Heal thy self. 

At this time in history small steps are meaningful and in fact may be the needed mustard seed. 

Join in social media and sharing

Donating to ACLU and others

Driving a friend to a march

Cooking a meal for a friend or babysitting so a friend can go to a march

all these things are valuable. Take care of your emotional and physical needs. Understand that you are OK. 

Please cocoon if you must. Rest up. 

Hope this short note helps you. 

Politics, Health, Control and Caring?

 https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/nutrition/newsom-signs-bill-to-ban-popular-snacks-due-to-cancer-causing-chemicals/ss-BB1lRJvN?ocid=socialshare&pc=HCTS&cvid=22ee45b4acfb45d5e420246e0fcdf9b3&ei=14#image=3

So Governor Gavin plans to ban some snacks. Responses may range from calling him a kill joy commy pinko to a caring public official. Let's step aside from politics for a second, although " the personal is political" ( origin unknown) 

There is a rise of many illnesses, and new illnesses and diseases are added to the list frequently. The age to have your first colonoscopy is now 45 years from the original 50. New cases of colon cancer are seen in much younger folks. What is going on? 

Did you know that some ingredients or chemicals in our food are illegal outside the USA? I have been thinking for a long time that the citizenry of the USA needs to become more mindful of what is in our food. Children need to be taught nutrition. 

Did you know that nutrition is not a subject taught in school? Our food either fuels us or poisons us. 

Would you put bad gasoline in your gas-powered car? Not if you expected to go from point A to B. If we don't start reading labels and being more mindful of what we eat, we won't be getting from point A to B either. 

Also, it's not just about being something with a label, such as a vegan or vegetarian; it is about paying attention. Many vegan foods we buy to substitute for meat contain not just chemicals but are loaded with sodium, and that affects us, too. 

If you can't pronounce what is on the label, put it back. If, by description, it is sodium full, put it down. 

Did you know that one famous "sandwich" franchise was once found to have the same chemical used in yoga mats in their bread?  Subway: No more "yoga mat" chemical in our bread - CBS News

Take time to read and learn about food, how it comes to our tables, and how it is processed, and let's work on being healthy. 

The Epstein list ....................

 I wrote this elsewhere and wanted to share

In a sexualized society, women’s appearance is held as a commodity. Girls as young as eight begin feeling unhappy with their bodies. Women’s value is their sexuality and appearance. Women, indirectly and at times directly, are taught the value of the male gaze. Boys grow up to be men who use the learned value of women’s attractiveness as a prize or what is culturally called a trophy.

Sex trafficking has been downplayed and minimized since young, attractive women are thought of as entertainment for men, especially wealthy men.

I don’t think the men in Epstein’s list, while they participated in the abuse of women, truly understood or understand their role in sex trafficking. Some may have, but some may not have.

When you go to a strip club, you may be sponsoring sex trafficking, you hire an escort, you may be sponsoring sex trafficking. When you watch porn, you may be sponsoring sex trafficking.

I can imagine people debating the above, so I will dissect it.

Historically, women are raised and trained to be caregivers and to care what others think about them and care about others. Some to this day discuss " women's work," which consists of caring for children, husbands, inlaws and just about everyone. Even in workplaces, who plans the work gatherings, makes coffee, and sets up any kind of "hospitality"- women! But you knew that, right?

Women are expected to look a certain way as their value is in how they look, and thereby they can pair and partner themselves "better" while looking a certain way. Women historically have and do die and suffer to "look good".

Interestingly enough, women are paid less to begin with but are expected to take care of their looks. Scroll social media Reels and Tick Tock, and check out the manicures! The eyelashes! The girdle type apparatus, the shoes. I actually felt hip pain looking at the shoes someone was wearing in a picture. They were sitting down, but I wondered if they could even walk. The platforms alone! But I digress. Girls grow into women insecure about their looks based on observation of the culture we have created. So much time is spent on hair coloring, defrizzing, extending, getting lashes, getting long, bejeweled nails. One video I came across was a person actually demonstrating how to wipe themselves after a bowel movement. I am serious! I guess because when it comes to extra long, bejeweled nails, that is the first question asked.

Now, sex trafficking. How it starts.

So there already is an environment where women are expected to look a certain way, and when they do, they have value.

Men are socialized to be not only with "beautiful" women but many. Like the culture labels them, trophies. The jokes and memes are that when "an average-looking man" is with a "beautiful" woman, he must have money. Whereas "beauty" is the currency for women, hard cash is the currency for men. It's not necessarily easy for men, either, but that's another blog entry. Why do I use so many quotes? Because beauty is subjective and in the eye of the beholder.

I have mentioned before elsewhere that everyone wants to be cool and not make negative comments regarding porn or strip clubs; even cisgender, heterosexual couples go to strip clubs.

While I am not generalizing that strip clubs and porn are involved in sex trafficking, there are some that are. Young girls and some young men may be recruited through online games and other online activities. How? There are adults who pretend to be teens, befriend minors and eventually become their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" meet up and eventually may be drugged, and the downward spiral begins. These predators are very good at what they do, and find the space to come into kids' lives. An argument with a parent leads to the predator beginning a narrative of how bad and unloving the parent is, and they, the predator, are the only ones there for them. This predator, after they have ingratiated themselves in the kid's life, may then proceed to have the child/teen work at strip clubs or work as an escort or prostitute and provide them (the predator) with the money earned. Porn also is a large industry these situations may lead to. Production of porn is low cost and online.

Once in that world, the child, teen, and eventual adult are controlled by the predator. Drugs play a role as they are provided drugs for initial control and then as a coping mechanism. Getting out of this is difficult, especially when it is a young victim, because their experiences and knowledge of the world are limited.

So that, in a nutshell, is why I say that if you watch porn, attend strip clubs, gentlemen's clubs, or hire an escort, you may be sponsoring sex trafficking and not knowing it. This may be the case for some on the Epstein list. In their mind, they were "just enjoying the company of women," but it may not have been consensual. What consenting adults do is one thing. Consent is the key. Consent is the key in any relationship. Consent, Consent. Minors can not consent, and women under the control of a trafficker can not consent. Also, remember that when there is a minor and an adult, the adult is responsible. Minors can not seduce adults!

Book Banning?! How it will further hurt our culture.

 Greetings from Florida, where books are being banned by the governor. Teachers may only have "preapproved books" in the classroom, and recently, a teacher was in trouble for showing students a Disney movie. Oh, yes, the governor is also fighting Mickey Mouse and Disney. Please Google that because I would need several pages of a book and not a blog to explain that one. 

If you follow this blog, you may have noticed a change. I am now Dr. Libia, and it just so happened that my research has been on using fiction, literature, and historical fiction in social work education. My doctorate is in social work, so I focused on social work education; however, the concept may be applied to any mental health profession and even to other professions that will work with patients or clients.  

The benefits of reading fiction are building empathy, critical thinking, and theory of mind. Let's just focus on empathy here. We live in a society where when we turn on the news or get alerts from news agencies, we see mass shootings at schools, malls, grocery stores, and just about anywhere where there are multitudes of people. Blame guns, the NRA, or whomever, but let's think this out. There are people out there who think nothing of walking into a place and shooting masses of people. I question their level of empathy. Something is not right. There is hatred, among other possible issues. 

Now, what did I learn in my research? I learned that there is increased blood flow to the brain when people are reading. There are differences between reading fiction vs nonfiction and reading fiction engages readers differently. Reading fiction is more social. Reading fiction increases empathy. So in a world that feels threatened by others that appear different from them, reading about others who may have a different sexual orientation, a different culture, or experience than us can help us build empathy for those people. Don't we need more empathy in this world? 

So I live in Florida and have to see how the hate culture is growing, and the masterminds of this hate are trying to present hate on a silver platter and attempting to fool everyone. As it is, the use of literature in social work education is common outside of the United States and limited in the United States. We need books, we need people to read, we don't need book banning. One can read something and choose to disagree with the author in an intelligent manner. It is painful to see book banning happening. That is truly unAmerican in my opinion.